provida: (conversational)
Ginevra Trevelyan, Inquisitor & Herald of Andraste ([personal profile] provida) wrote in [community profile] rivain 2017-03-05 09:32 am (UTC)

It's more reassuring than maybe he knows, she thinks, to hear that no one knows that line. She can search for it, she can hunt and try and weigh it all, but no one knows.

It isn't something she could be realistically expected to just know, through some divine advice or innate goodness. She'll have to find. She could fail, and paradoxically, it makes it a little easier to breathe.

Or, it would, if she hadn't turned to face him fully. If she hadn't stepped closer as she did so, all without thought, and found herself suddenly just so close to him.

No, this doesn't help breathing.

"All the same," she manages, forcing her eyes up to his, "If I... I don't know. If I do something that's prideful, or for glory or vengeance... Could you tell me?"

Despite his distracting proximity, she means the question. If there is one thing, at the core of it, which Envy had shown she fears, it's this: for the first time in her life, there's no one to stop her. Her parents have no control over her, as they did when she was a girl. Templars, well, there are no circles here and she is no longer a circle mage. Leliana, she's sure, would only stop her if whatever she was doing looked like it might damage the greater good. But, too, Leliana, Cassandra, Cullen, she's the Herald first to them. If only, she thinks, because it's easier to deal with her that way.

She might be friends with them, later. But now, here, she feels alone and without much of a shield between her and herself.

Maybe it's selfish to ask. She thinks about that, once the words are out of her mouth. But she's asked and she meant the asking.

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